Herschel Walker may have run for a Senate seat from Georgia last year, and he may have been born in the Peach State, but Walker’s home for years was Texas. He spent most of his football career as a Dallas Cowboy, and right up until he had to establish residency in Georgia before seeking office there, his home was in Westlake, twenty miles from the old Texas Stadium in Irving. The New York Times reports that he even receives a property tax break intended for primary residents of the state. These passages from his campaign diary (we can’t disclose how we acquired it, but rest assured Project Veritas was NOT involved) reveal that Herschel Walker has remained a Texas guy at heart.
Dear Diary,
I mentioned running for Senator from Georgia to my family today. They were all for it except for my wife, my siblings, my cousins, and all my aunts and uncles. My Uncle Larry said, “Herschel, what about you-know-what?” I said, “What about what?” He said, “You know what.” I said, “Whatever ‘what’ is, is something that the people of the Great State of Texas Georgia are willing to look at the what and consider the who and the when before the what is something that would make them ask ‘what.’ ” Uncle Larry said, “What?” So I think that got him thinking.
Dear Diary,
Get over it, newspapers. So what if Herschel Walker still lives in Texas at the moment and for the last few decades? I mean, you look at the field in the Republican primary, who else did Texas Georgia have? Herschel Walker was the lone star!
Dear Diary,
Running for senator is not that hard. It’s like back with the Cowboys we had this play, Walker sweep right. That’s just, Danny White hands the ball to Herschel and everybody else gets the hell out of the way and lets Herschel run. Except now a touchdown will mean Herschel Walker is senator.
Dear Diary,
It’s all this noise and nonsense in the press about how Herschel Walker is not real law enforcement. If the Texas Rangers gave him an honorary Texas Ranger badge (or the police departments of Irving and Las Colinas, where I have worked and lived) then Herschel Walker IS a Texas Ranger, whether honorary, dishonorary, or any other which-ary. Law enforcement—it’s not a sometime thing.
Dear Diary,
More noise and nonsense and stupid questions from the media about why did Herschel Walker write some check years ago. Also, the stalking. The handguns. The threats. Enough with what check went where and for whom did it get written to pay for this, that, or the other thing. Herschel Walker’s answer is still going to be a humorous story about two kids and some horse manure or some such.
Dear Diary,
The major problem with the Herschel Walker campaign is not enough Herschel Walker. I mean the real Herschel Walker, without all these advisers and helpers and experienced professionals and so on. More Walker sweep right. You want Herschel to run, you get out of the way!
This article originally appeared in the January 2023 issue of Texas Monthly with the headline “Walker, Texas Stranger.” Subscribe today.
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